What Makes A Good Dick Pic?

Dick pictures first appeared on Reddit, Discord, and other predecessor Usenet newsgroups in 1993 and have been around since the rise of the Internet in the early 1990s.

As anyone in a long-distance or sexually-exploring relationship knows, they are here to stay. It might discourage you from thinking that there are, but trust me, we are here. That way the standing ovation won’t be met with a strike in the middle of the performance.

Here’s what many penis photo receivers said worked for them:

Liv – “No size comparisons. Don’t put your water bottle on its side.”

Alex – “If you can shoot and film while you’re cumming, that’s great.”

Hannah – “Must See”

Jack – “I’m a big black and white fan. Use these filters appropriately.”

Alice – “I hardly ever get it, but I’d like a video if I get it.”

Lily – “Don’t send if you just do. I’ll send something back.”

Ben – “I don’t just like dicks, I like Full Frontal. Give me a body.”

So while there is no consensus, there seem to be some general ideas such as consent, aesthetics and motivation.

But you need more than that, right?

So let’s try some crowdsourced (and well-researched) rules.

Secondary guidelines:

Dick pics can and should be nice, fun and horny when done right. While there are no real “rules” (he could be one), there are a few basics to follow if you want your caller to bite their lip in glee instead of squinting in confusion. there are guidelines. So here are some things to consider when taking and sending product photos.


If you don’t agree to send it, it’s proof of harassment, not a picture of your pussy. And consent doesn’t mean the message “Can I see your cock” when you already have an erection.

Take a moment when you’re not already hot and heavy and see if it’s the type of thing the person you’re sending wants to receive. Is sending a photo the type of thing you’re depressed about?”.

dick ready

It should be clean and hard unless someone requests otherwise. Hopefully it’s clear.


Pictures of your floating erectile dysfunction aren’t all that exciting. Imagine receiving a clinical drawing of your vagina. It’s basically the same, and no one wants to feel like they’re looking at a science textbook when they’re about to get off. give. Something that indicates it’s you, not just the disconnected members you can see on Google.


If someone asks for a picture, they know what they want. You don’t have to focus on showing your size or anything like that. just have fun. Reach out, move, and let them know you’re reaching out because you’re actually having a good time. A blurry photo with a bit of motion does a much better job of conveying that you’re rightly in the moment and not slouching. I try to get the angle that I think is visible.


After all, it’s not a professional photography shoot, and nobody cares how good the lighting or HD is when you’re in the moment. If you both agree, present and enjoy it, it will be shown.

Happy cock capture.

Rachel Barker is a writer and producer for VICE NZ.

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